i was wide awake.

who knew i would've worn your sweater to that party.
i'll keep those memories tight. in my hand. and it happens better in my head when i'm trying to sleep.
and you're never near me.
when will i see you. under the sheets.

tell me how much it hurts to love me.
or how many times i've laughed with you. how can you stay silent.

i thought i heard you today. just today.
but there was nothing there.

no sleep.
no more breathing.
calling out your name under my breath.
in search of warmth.

it fell. somewhere. deep inside. i knew i had to sleep.
to rid me of this thing.
to rid me of this thing.

did it have a name. maybe, once. in a dream.